When we talk about a family trip – no matter the shape and size of your family – it’s easy to think about the fun (and chaos) of being overseas in the company of our loved ones after months of detailed planning.
Of course, there’s nothing like bonding over a family holiday and as a child, travelling with our parents might seem part and parcel of growing up, but when I reached adulthood, I began taking annual mother-daughter trips with the matriarch and head honcho of my family.
While the trips were initially a way for us to get away from the obligations of work and family, I’ve found that there’s nothing quite like going on a girls’ trip with my mum, and here’s why I advocate for it.
Mum gets to relax
Mothers don’t get rest days, so our trips are opportunities for mine to loosen up and leave everything to me.
Now that I’m a working adult who’s financially capable, I can handle more for us (even if mum disagrees). Whether it’s booking the comfiest hotels or our transport to tourist spots, visiting her favourite malls or sussing out the closest food spots around us, I take over so she can snap out of “mother hen” mode and relax with me.
My priority is to make sure she’s safe on my watch (no amusement rides for her), and that means things like checking if she’s packed enough medication, keeping her hydrated throughout flights and ensuring we have comprehensive travel insurance coverage in case of any hiccups on the road.
Tip: Check for hop-on/hop-off buses where mum can rest and still take in the sights!
I get to notice the little things
I still groan when mum produces tiny sachets of jam or wads of serviettes “borrowed” from our hotel’s breakfast buffet whenever we enjoy a muffin break, but our trips are always a chance for me to indulge her and all her quirks.
I find myself noticing little things about her during our time together – especially her childish whims, like how she now prefers smaller meals throughout the day because she’s developed a penchant for snacking and does these full-body wiggles as she savours treats she doesn’t have to share. I also often find myself helping her lug baskets of Hello Kitty stationery to the cashier on our shopping days or debating whether she should get a strawberry or peach popsicle.
Mum’s adventures aren’t tame by any regard – during a trip to New Zealand, we even got matching tattoos. Talk about a cool mum!
We get to slow down
Trips with mum aren’t about jam-packed itineraries on account of our shared love for slowing it down. Of course, this was something I had to get used to, but I’ve learned that holidays don’t always have to be a mad rush from start to end.
Well and truly, my mum embodies the concept of stopping to smell the flowers – and taking photos of them too! Our road trips come in the form of long drives with intermittent pit stops so she can admire the beautiful landscapes (yes, she’ll still nag at me for driving too fast even if I’m keeping within the speed limit).
We exchange sleeping in for early morning visits to local farmers’ markets where she’ll spend hours admiring local produce or take slow walks along the aisles of foreign supermarkets where she’ll somehow manage to procure more bottles of chilli sauce to add to our collection back home that she’s yet to try.
She’s now the reason I always pack an empty bag in my luggage for the many souvenirs we end up with.
If you’re planning a holiday, be sure to read this article for the best travel tips so you can enjoy a getaway without breaking the bank.
I can learn to adapt for her
It’s difficult to put into words how I feel when I realise mum is quietly coping with the challenges of ageing.
As time passes, she prefers to have an unhurried breakfast in a hotel over, say, a busy eatery along the streets of Hong Kong, because reading a menu has become challenging for her failing eyesight. I don’t miss the trepidation on her face when we arrive at a tourist spot and find that we have to climb a short flight of stairs to enter, or when she struggles to remember directions.
Wherever we go, I find myself keeping mental notes on the nearest bathroom locations, actively searching for seats in public spaces should she ever need to rest her feet, and I always keep mints in my bag to help relieve motion sickness which she gets more easily now.
These are reminders that as I’m growing, my parents are ageing and slowing down. Concessions may have to be made, but it doesn’t mean we can’t still have fun on our trips – just as it was when I was a child and mum had to cater holidays to my needs.
We get time to talk – and listen
People unlock from the pressures of everyday life when they travel, and my mum is no exception. As we reconnect, it’s also a chance for me to listen – specifically, to thoughts she keeps filed away.
When we get time alone and away from everything else, I simply listen to mum unload anything and everything on her mind.
Whether it’s about managing medical bills, that dream transatlantic holiday she wants to take when she retires or the latest workplace gossip, we can talk for hours without worrying about the time or place.
Singaporeans often imagine retirement to be impossible, but it can be done with proper planning – so be sure to read up about how you can help your folks enjoy their golden years.
As her child, I feel happy seeing the relief on her face when I reassure her about our future plans, or that no matter what happens, my sister and I will always be there to make sure she and my dad are taken care of in their golden years.
Hold onto her a little tighter
When I was young, my mum held onto me to keep me safe. Now more than ever, I find myself holding on a little tighter to her instead, determined to make sure she stays with me for as long as possible.
We won’t have our folks with us forever, so whether it’s Mother’s Day, or just to celebrate her for the gem that she is – why not try a trip with your mum or parent? While it’s never easy to renegotiate roles as parent and child, it sure comes a lot easier on a holiday – who knows, you might just learn some new things about mum along the way!
